Sunday, September 23, 2012

On my own

Yeah. So. This whole maintain and oh, well, now lose what you've gained while, ha ha, "maintaining" thing is not working. 

I can't do this on my own. Balrhaoijpoiqrewr0iujq34.

Oh, I know HOW to do it. I just don't do it. Well, I do it, and then I don't and then I do and then I don't. Y'know? Fuckity fuck fuck.

Dieting is not rocket science. I know pretty much exactly how many calories, carbs, protein, etc that I need to consume every day. And on a good day, I do it. The problem is that there are too many days I just don't do it. If you've ever dieted, you know. The cheating. The crap food that I would never have eaten Before now is irresistible to me. What. The. Fuck. 

So, I'm thinking maybe I should just go full-on Medifast again? It bums me out to type that and I am not all that certain I can swing it. I mean, my problem isn't that I don't know what to eat, it's that I go off and off and off. Not sure what would keep me from doing the same if I go back on Medifast. Maybe the idea that I've spent dough on it? Or that I am doing it quite publicly? Ay yi yi. 

Anyone who has been in my shoes, feel free to tell me what to do. And if you know me at all, I rarely ask what to do on account of my extreme self-sufficiency so you know I must really want some insights if I'm actually asking for 'em.

Oh, but please don't tell me not to diet. I do need to lose weight again. That is just that. Plus if I am dieting, I will wear and take pictures of cute thrifted clothing outfits again. And isn't that the important thing?

2 comments:

  1. Damnit. You know I think you're amazing and wonderful and all things positive-adjectivey. And I have no advice (LOL, just look at me!). But I wish you well and I will send fierce, positive energy into the universe that you get the answer you need.
    Sue

    ReplyDelete
  2. First of all, don't give up. Weight loss is incredibly hard, it is a life long process, you will have ups and downs, take notice of each success and each failure they can teach you something, pay attention and learn from them. I don't really know much about Medifast, but I can tell you what I've learned from Weight Watchers. The weekly meeting and weigh-in provides accountability that keeps me honest. I had to try many different meetings before I found a leader that I really clicked with, and someone who could be supportive while calling me on any of my self sabotage b.s. It doesn't have to be a WW meeting, but you do need a support system of people who have first hand understanding of long term weight loss and dealing with food issues. The next key for me has been discovering exercise. I was never an athletic type of person, and I always said "i hate the gym", but then I found a small fitness center that fit who I am and it's been critical to maintaining weight loss, in fact it was the difference between hovering 10 pounds away from my goal weight for 3 years, and then finally surpassing my goal. The benefits of exercise are not just physical, it has played a huge role in my mood, coping with stress without turning to food, and building a better relationship with my body. Have you found an exercise routine that you like? I started with some videos at home before I was confident to go to a gym. Along the way, I also learned some rather strange tips for fighting cravings...do you have the after-dinner munchies? paint your nails, it's hard to snack with wet nail polish. Organizing a drawer or cleaning out my purse is sometimes enough to take my mind off eating long enough for a craving to subside. Even these little things, can add up to big results over the long run. Someone asked me: "If you broke a plate from your china cabinet, would you then go and throw all the other plates out?" Of course not! Don't let a set back, send you back to zero. Sorry this was so long! Good Luck to you....can't wait to see your next blog post!

    ReplyDelete