Friday, September 28, 2012

Oh how I love the diet honeymoon!

Y'all I've been back hardcore on Medifast for just about five days and I remember why I loved it so.

Turns out, when you go from eating Bad Food to eating 1000 calories a day you lose weight REAL FAST. Five pounds down.

Oh I know it's silly stupid weight and my body will adjust and say "fuck you I'm holding on to my cushion" in about a minute but let's just enjoy it today, okey doke?

And while we're enjoying it I will attempt to answer and comment upon your emailed and posted questions on the riveting subject of Lady Cardigan's Diet The Sequel some of which are my own internal questions and comments btw (as usual I reserve the right to embellish and project and interpret your questions in my own way):

1. Lady Cardigan, why the fuck would you go back on Medifast when you have admitted to gaining weight back (fast-ish) after using it before?

Medifast worked. It was ME that didn't work. While there's certainly a very wise argument to be made for going on a slower and ultimately more sustainable longer-term way of eating, I am just not patient (or smart) enough. I am a five-year-old and need the reward of quick results. Stupid, yes. But my cute clothes fit better faster and that is the important thing.

2. Seriously? Seriously?

Look, I know that the insane diet is insane. There are probably ten or twenty better ways to do this that have legs. Smart, slower, sustainable diets. I'm not doing this because I haven't spent endless hours on diet sites reading about every possible diet until my head nearly exploded. I'm doing this because it's the only thing that ever worked for me.

3. But won't you find yourself in the same boat on day soon...lose the weight, then gain it back, rinse, repeat?
Because! In between sessions, I hope to lose a scosh more, providing more wiggle room. But YES, I will be in the same boat but maybe a different pond. The problem these past few months is that I really didn't transition and (MOSTLY) I succumbed to food I've never ever eaten, really. I don't know why. I'm hoping to learn and avoid. Is this just gonna be my rollercoaster? Maybe! But I'd rather ride it then hang out at the snack shack along side. 


4. You should exercise. DUH.
Yes, I should. I do. Somewhat. I run fercrissakes. But, fact is, exercise firms up my dangly bits but it doesn't lose me any weight. It of course makes you feel great which leads to behaving great. But, I'm not up for it in any organized way. Been there, and etc you know the rest. 

5. You know diets don't work in the long run, right?
No. They don't. I have to be on a diet for the rest of my life. I know that. It makes me blue. But I'll survive.

*****
I wore a really cute outfit today but didn't take a picture. Mostly cuz I can't shake my blues over losing my sweet sweet girl Cotton. Can't shake 'em. Sorry.

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